Your registry is a wish list of special things you've selected for your new life together. Of all the wonderful things you've explored together, you pick particular objects which you love and which you imagine will enrich your lives. Creating your list should be joyous, exploratory, personal, and, of course, revealing - a creative construction, made by the two of you, of what could be called a Utopian life style. In other words, it represents your life as you would like to live it, in a perfect world.

The two of you don't need to agree on everything.

No matter how much you love each other, you're still two different people, and you will have differing ideas on certain things. Maybe one of you wants coffee in the morning and the other wants tea. So put a tea service on the list, or a beautiful porcelain teacup, as well as a coffee service. Each of you should have what you want. Why compromise? Why argue about it? One of you loves pizza. Add a pizza cutter. Add a one cup espresso maker. In addition to being a major project you do together, let drawing up your list also be an exercise in marking your individuality to each other. It's why you've chosen each other, after all.


Your life will not be entirely social.

There will be a lot of time when you will be a couple alone together, and there are many things that as a couple you can enjoy which would be inappropriate in company. We hasten to add that we are thinking of things like a wonderful double tea service from Nymphenberg. Or a spectacular pair of Dom Perignon champagne glasses from Baccarat. Focus on the things you love about being together, alone.


Set your table without being bound by "givens".

Why select a 5-piece place setting when you really want a 7-piece setting? There's no dinnerware law that says you can't mix pieces from one service with another. If you like one service, but love the serving bowls from a different one, then get the bowls and add them to the first service. Mix stemware with tumblers at the table. If it looks good and it pleases you, then make yourself happy.

Your mother loves you. But it's your registry.

Inevitably, your advisor will send you in directions which won't be where you want to go. What worked for her, or what she always wished she'd chosen, are not necessarily the things you want in your life forever. It's important for you to prevail. Patience, gentleness and firmness can generally get you your way. Ganging up also works. Also, pick your battles.


Now's your chance.

It's a big material world out there, filled with some extraordinarily beautiful things. This is your one opportunity to really look at everything and make some grand selections. Be bold and take some chances. Imagine how wonderful your life can be. Go for things you can't afford. People are eager to buy you things. Let them.


You can always change your mind.

With moss registry, at least, we have built in a second point at which you can review everything prior to really committing to it, and make some different decisions. You can select the time when you want to do that, maybe waiting a little while until you're out of the emotional whirl of the big day. Give it more thought and really get what you want to have for your life together.



Our sample registry gives you a good illustration of this "Me, Us and Them" approach to registry-making. We've tried to show what a list might look like if you think of yourself, and the two of you, your guests and your family. I hope you find it helpful.